4th February 2017

I fucked up! I fucked it all up!

I cant remember what triggered me exactly, but I went and got drunk. Very drunk for about 10 days. I spent four days being sick. I don’t feel physically well now. My body is a physical mess and my mind is finally BROKEN.

Last night I put the girl to bed as I have been absent for about a week… I began hallucinating, really seeing and hearing things. I honestly thought I had finally lost my mind.  Its scared the crap out of me. I cannot DO THIS ANYMORE! I cannot put myself or anyone else through this anymore.

So anyway – FOUR DAYS SOBER. My period has arrived, am beginning to wonder if this isn’t a coincidence…. I always seem to be able to go about a month sober, and then Bang I go off the rails and drink again? I will keep an eye on this.

Four days sober , and dunno what day of gratitude… I’m grateful to be alive.  Begin Again. Tomorrow is Sunday, I might drag myself to church.

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