Monday. Miss Meg is at preschool, I am sat in Costa people watching and writing. I’ve made the choice to give Steve my purse, so I have no access to cash, he’s given me a fiver this morning. This is obviously a small and temporary measure, but it may be helpful for a while.
Anyhow, I’ve been thinking about my thoughts and my mind, and what to do next. It seems that I may have to rely on medication forever. Also counselling I should think. My anxiety is still high, my heart is racing all the time, and I feel twitchy and paranoid. I think people are always looking, and knowing, and judging. Hey, maybe they are?
Steve and I talked a bit last night, he feels helpless and he’s losing confidence, I think, in my ability to change. I have to prove him wrong now.
I have a sewing class this evening which I’m really looking forward to. I also have plans with Debs tomorrow. I need to keep busy.