Oh my goodness! 1st Aug = 6 months sober for me!
I feel like something has finally stuck this time. I never Have to drink again. I don’t Ever have to feel as bad as all that Again! Wow … I will never forget the sickness, the hallucinations and the shame and humiliation I have felt. I need to keep it in my mind, to keep me safe… but it doesn’t define my life now.
I feel stronger and capable. Somedays I even rather like myself. I’m more aware of my emotions now, and I’m trying to not let my mind play tricks on me!
I still get paranoid, and extremely angry at stupid things, but its getting less, and I am better able to handle it. I recognise when my Borderline behaviours are gonna be triggered, so I try to avoid certain negative people or situations. Obviously this isn’t always possible, and distraction techniques help me to stay grounded.
I have started my new job now, and I absolutely love it there, the girls I work with are a good bunch, I seem to fit in quite well. Also nobody knows about my past, and I have no reason to bring it up. This actually feels Amazing.