Oh my goodness! 1st Aug = 6 months sober for me!
I feel like something has finally stuck this time. I never Have to drink again. I don’t Ever have to feel as bad as all that Again! Wow … I will never forget the sickness, the hallucinations and the shame and humiliation I have felt. I need to keep it in my mind, to keep me safe… but it doesn’t define my life now.
I feel stronger and capable. Somedays I even rather like myself. I’m more aware of my emotions now, and I’m trying to not let my mind play tricks on me!
I still get paranoid, and extremely angry at stupid things, but its getting less, and I am better able to handle it. I recognise when my Borderline behaviours are gonna be triggered, so I try to avoid certain negative people or situations. Obviously this isn’t always possible, and distraction techniques help me to stay grounded.
I have started my new job now, and I absolutely love it there, the girls I work with are a good bunch, I seem to fit in quite well. Also nobody knows about my past, and I have no reason to bring it up. This actually feels Amazing.
Inspirational reading Carrie. So glad that awareness is coming in and helping you see where or when your BPD traits are likely to be triggered. That awareness creates a gap between the thought and the emotional reaction.
Marie x
Thanks so much sweetie.. I really think Im finally healing x Its all a process 💜