Self awareness

We went to a party last night. It was a bit difficult for me, I was shattered from working, but also I really thought about sneaking a drink, and wondering if I could enjoy the party more? My anxiety was high most of the night.

Anyhow, I didn’t drink, and I sat enjoying the music… It was lovely to see some people that we’ve not seen for a while. This morning, I woke up guilt and hangover Free, and also a little smug because the husband had a sore head.

Today was a good day. Out with my family for a chilly walk around the lake with the pup. No whining from anyone either! Yay.

Am in work right now – it’s 1am and I’m feeling pretty good. I get on really well with the girl I’m working with. Perhaps I could suggest going out for a coffee sometime? So nervous though! Ha – any sort of rejection makes me so down, although I rarely show it.  This is part of Borderline Personality and I’m learning with such things much better. I still get wobbly though and spend a lot of time ‘mindreading’ what people think of me.

I find it amazing how quickly my mood can change – sometimes I even shock myself. I’m guessing it can be rather frustrating for others too.

I’m feeling pretty self aware the last few days, I am so proud that I didn’t drink last night.

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