Tired.

IMG_20171109_094252-01.jpegLately I am feeling angry, and Very Tired. I cannot work out if I’m physically tired, or emotionally drained…Or perhaps both?

I get very shouty with the girl, and I’m aware that I have said hurtful things when I’m frustrated, about me getting on a bus and not coming back. It just spews out of me, I cannot stop it, and there is instant regret. I don’t mean it, of course, but I really think I could do with a break from the norm.

I feel like I’m just ‘ mummy ‘ all the time, and it certainly doesn’t come easily to me. I am drowning in what I think I ‘ should ‘ be doing – even though I know it’s all in my head. (BPD). I am putting too much pressure on myself, and I always fall short.

Already I am fretting about Christmas – I really don’t want to do the same old blah, blah, blah with my in-laws. I feel insecure and inadequate.

Whatever I do never feels good enough – in my mind – I guess this is why I feel so tired?

Yesterday evening I went to bed at 7pm, and slept for 12 hours solid. I still feel like crap though!  I will walk the pup soon, and get some fresh air.

It’s not all that bad, and I do recognise my blessings. I am sorry for moaning, but some peace from my shouty mind would be great.

4 thoughts on “Tired.

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  1. So much of what you say on your posts resonates with me. I argued last night with my amazing 12 year old who had faced exams for the first time and I felt instant regret. Why did I do that? Why do I bite so easily at the button pushes? You’re not alone. Xx

  2. Hug.
    I have learned that apologizing to my kids when I get frustrated/tired/stressed and yell goes a long way. They realize I’m human and they see not only is everything not their fault, but also that apologizing is a healthy thing for anyone to do. I have also been known to break down Into tears. Again, we all accept that is a normal stress response sometimes.

    4 years of yoga has helped me, but not completely.

    Hugs. Life is hard some days.
    Anne

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