I am pondering on the past ten months, and how my life is changed and is changing still. I feel so fortunate to be where I am today – I think I’ve got the life I’ve always wanted.
I am wondering how I managed to carry on the way I did for so many years. I was literally stumbling through my life aimlessly.
I have no doubt that I have suffered trauma and abuse over the last 15 years, but I’m not sure if all of that would have happened if I hadn’t been drunk? Like the time I passed out pissed, and woke to find my so called ‘friend’ with his fingers inside me… I mean, surely that wouldn’t have happened if I had been sober? I am aware that I put myself in dangerous situations and I certainly put up with unhealthy relationships because I was too drunk to respect myself, or perhaps because they enabled my addiction?
Anyhow, here I am in a pretty positive place right now, and I’m very grateful for the family and friends that have stood by me.
As a woman in recovery, I get to participate in my life, I play an active role in a beautiful journey.
I am thankful that Meg can invite her friends to our house after school, without anyone worrying or thinking there’s a risk. I am grateful that my health is vastly improved and my liver function is normal. I am happy to be able to work again, and contribute financially to our family. We are looking forward to a lovely holiday next year, that I helped to pay for – it felt good to pay it off early.
I feel grateful to be in a position, emotionally, to help others. I know that a little bit of time and effort can go a long way to helping someone feel better about themselves.
I am looking forward to Christmas, confident that I will remain Sober, and since we are going away, I won’t around lots of people, drinking a lot this year.
I am looking forward to the future ❤