I have to remind myself that people are going to do whatever they want, no matter how much it hurts me. I am just wondering if because I’m the one that has changed, am I beginning to feel differently? Notice things more?
Have I been wrong over the last year to put myself first to ensure my continued sobriety?
I am struggling with what I believe acceptance to be. I like to think that I have moved my life forward and ‘accepted’ the things I cannot change.
If I have, accepted things as they are, then does this mean they NO LONGER bother me/upset me? That I’m indifferent or no longer affected by these things/situations?
I feel like I’m all in a pickle with my version or definition of Acceptance. I am trying to work through the puzzle in my mind right now. I always seem to return to the same point.
I have spent years in counselling of different kinds, dealing with my negative core beliefs, having CBT ect… I thought I didn’t need therapy anymore, But now I’m not so sure.
I’m wondering if my version of acceptance is a type of resignation? Am I just resigned to the way things are now? So I accept it?
Perhaps I realise how good my life is in the main part, so I just put up with the rubbish stuff. Perhaps this is the way things are, and I should stop overthinking all the time? Maybe I should just be happy with my lot… It’s a good life. Goodness, I sound so selfish and ungrateful right now.
I feel so frustrated right now, and I’m trying to work through those feelings. I KNOW how lucky I am – And I am grateful. So much so.
I am wondering if I am expecting people to change, just because I have… So many questions…
Obviously I need to do some more work on myself, and find that inner peace.