Acceptance and Relationships. Mindfully.

I have to remind myself that people are going to do whatever they want, no matter how much it hurts me. I am just wondering if because I’m the one that has changed, am I beginning to feel differently? Notice things more? 

Have I been wrong over the last year to put myself first to ensure my continued sobriety? 

I am struggling with what I believe acceptance to be. I like to think that I have moved my life forward and ‘accepted’ the things I cannot change.  

If I have, accepted things as they are, then does this mean they NO LONGER bother me/upset me? That I’m indifferent or no longer affected by these things/situations? 

I feel like I’m all in a pickle with my version or definition of Acceptance. I am trying to work through the puzzle in my mind right now. I always seem to return to the same point. 

I have spent years in counselling of different kinds, dealing with my negative core beliefs, having CBT ect… I thought I didn’t need therapy anymore, But now I’m not so sure. 

I’m wondering if my version of acceptance is a type of resignation? Am I just resigned to the way things are now? So I accept it? 

Perhaps I realise how good my life is in the main part, so I just put up with the rubbish stuff. Perhaps this is the way things are, and I should stop overthinking all the time? Maybe I should just be happy with my lot… It’s a good life. Goodness, I sound so selfish and ungrateful right now. 

I feel so frustrated right now, and I’m trying to work through those feelings. I KNOW how lucky I am – And I am grateful. So much so. 

I am wondering if I am expecting people to change, just because I have… So many questions… 

Obviously I need to do some more work on myself, and find that inner peace. 

12 thoughts on “Acceptance and Relationships. Mindfully.

Add yours

  1. You have taken efforts to change yourself for the better so naturally you will subconsciously expect the same. But sadly, people are not convinced that they need to change easily.

  2. This is such a self-conflict driven and releatable post. Accepting things is always the difficult part and you’re strong enough to have achieved that, it’s commendable. As for others changing, I don’t think that’s easy. People can only change themselves, we can simply influence them in a good way 🙂

      1. Same here. I don’t think there’s often a time when one doesn’t, I mean, it’s in the human nature to always wonder if things are right or wrong 🙂

  3. I think when we’re going through the really tough times, where it’s hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel, we’re just so full of emotion that it’s hard to think of anything, else expect getting through and self protection. Some people go through these traumatic times/events, some don’t and therefore might struggle to be empathetic. When we eventually start to feel our own breath again and a small space opens in the mind, we start thinking back and questioning, reliving, a type of PTSD maybe. This is a stage that leads to the ultimate goal of acceptance, of who we are now, what happened, why it happened etc etc Not acceptance as in that’s ok now, some things will never be ok, forgotten, but it happened, we live on, we accept it did.
    Writing is not my skill so I hope this comes across well.
    One last thing never beat yourself up for putting yourself and family first. If others struggle with this then that says more about them than you.

  4. I think expecting inner peace from acceptance is where I stumble.
    Acceptance minimizes suffering, but it does not eliminate it.
    Things still go ways we don’t expect, and I often can’t see the sunny side of the road…
    I think that’s normal and the more we recognize where we are trying to control the world, or others, the wiser we become.

      1. It’s so not easy!
        My husband laughs at me when I try to change him. He is very stubborn and very set on what he wants. It is unbelievable frustrating at times. But that’s my problem! Lol

  5. Acceptance to me isn’t blind acquiescence. It’s not like I lie down and let people walk all over me. Acceptance is not me condoning crappy things some people may do. Acceptance is understanding where I am at, and where they are at. Acceptance is realizing how things are, but still knowing that they can change.
    It’s not always easy, to accept certain things, to know that we can’t change people, but the acceptance comes in how we react to them.

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