True Belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in, and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True Belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are. ~ Brene Brown. – Braving The Wilderness.
I am an introvert.
I spent many years trying not to be – using alcohol to make me more confident, more chatty, Just More. I thought that I wasn’t enough.
Since getting Sober , I have been trying to discover who I really am, learning to accept myself and recognise that I Am Enough.
This, for me, is really hard work, something that I have to focus on. I spend a lot of time comparing myself to others, comparing my life, my weight, etc… This is draining and zaps my self esteem instantly. It is a nasty habit!
Every Day I am trying my hardest to be a good person, and to be honest and sincere. I just want to be better than I was yesterday. I need to stop beating myself up all the time.
I am not a loud person, I am not the confident one in a group – I just want to be seen and heard for who I am – But I won’t shout about it!
For the 20 years of active addiction, it’s been all about the drama! I literally lived my life in a chaotic soap opera, I can imagine I was gossip fodder for many.
I have hurt people along the way, and for this I am sorry. I continue to make amends – quietly.
I am slowly beginning to like myself and realise my worth. I deserve to stay Sober.
I am reading more books about mindfulness, recovery and Buddhism. I am continuing to create a calm space inside and around me. I am done with the drama.