I woke with a huge sense of unease this morning. It took a few moments for me to realise it was a dream, and I Hadn’t been drinking the night before.
I haven’t had a ‘drinking dream’ for months, and was surprised to still experience this …
It is such a relief to know that I’ll never have to wake up again, wondering what happened, who I upset? Where I hid the bottle? Was there Any left to ease the shakes this morning? The extreme panic and fear that lingers on after a drunk night, the Shame that washes over me.
I Actually Get To Remember Everything Now! It’s bloody wonderful. I get to go to sleep, and wake up with a sense of peace that I will never take for granted.
Being Sober has opened up a whole new experience of the world to me. Someone said to me once, that being Sober is like living your second life, and it really is!
I guess what I’m trying to say is , my dream last night has filled me with gratitude all over again. I am alert, I am present, and my days are not wasted. I Get to fill them with all the beautiful things that sobriety allows me.
Lately I’ve been attending Zumba classes and running again. It’s hard , but I love it! I am getting out in the evening and finally doing something to get fit. For years, I was red faced and sweating because of the alcohol abuse, or the withdrawal from, So it’s wonderful to sweat from exercise – and not feel ashamed.
I am putting my anxiety aside, and dealing with my depressed episode in a positive way. ❤