BPD and Obsessions

I get obsessed with things very easily. It is a part of Borderline Personality Disorder, and normally it manifests itself, for me, with a new hobby, that generally fizzles out quickly OR when the next thing catches my eye.

I tend to get very involved – I buy all the books, or all the gear associated with my new ‘thing’.

I am actually getting better at spotting the signs now, that I’m becoming fixated on something, so I can control it to a degree, and don’t spend as manically as I used to. Take sewing for example… Two years ago, I became obsessed with sewing and I had to buy all the things! The attic is full of fabric, scissors, sewing boxes, books, a machine, more fabric… I did A Lot of sewing for about a year or so, it consumed me, was all I thought about, then all of a sudden, I lost interest. Just like that. I was actually quite good at sewing too, so I hope to rekindle my interest one day.

Next came Yoga, and so it began again. It is a common trait of people with BPD, starting things, but not sticking with it.

Oh , and I used to get hooked on people too, and not always the decent sort of people! As I’ve gotten older, this doesn’t happen a great deal, but it certainly did when I was younger, and felt alone all the time. I clearly remember latching onto people that showed me a scrap of attention and they became everything to me… Male or Female. My self esteem was a zero then, so it didn’t matter if that person was no good for me, as I Needed that crumb of affection.

Occasionally, even now, I look at people, and think ” oooh, we should be Best Friends ” HA! Thankfully though, some things about Borderline Personality lessen over time, or you can better manage them?

On the plus side, I am fiercely passionate about things I believe in, and I will always fight your corner if you need me to.

Mostly I manage my symptoms by staying sober, and practising mindfulness daily. I am learning to become more aware of what is a part of the disorder and to better deal with a situation before it becomes a mental health relapse or worse. I try to be open about how I’m feeling to people so that I can stay grounded in reality and not get lost inside my head.

Writing certainly helps me. ❤

7 thoughts on “BPD and Obsessions

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  1. I am very similar. People who know me joke and say when Anne decides to do something she is ALL IN.
    I have had many intense interests over the years…most of which lasted a while and then, like you, fizzle. I still like them, but I just don’t hold the intense spark.

    Yoga has held me for 4 years. I sometimes worry it will fade. I hope not.
    I try hard to hold myself back from new interests now. I see the lure.

    Thanks for this. It’s comforting to know others do this too…

    Anne

      1. I think I need to talk to my therapist about BPD, for me, and for my daughter.
        I already take meds for anxiety and depression and they improved my life so much.
        My daughter is only 12…it’s a hard age for anyone. But she is very obsessive. Very. Maybe she can learn to notice her behaviour sooner.

      2. I think you can learn to control the urges and obsessions over time. I knew for years I had something ‘ not quite right ‘ before an actual diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but it’s helped me to really get to know myself and why I have such intense emotions and reactions to things. ❤

  2. Hang in there! Life is a journey for all of us! But we walk at different speeds! As long as we are traveling in the same direction we all get to win this race!!! My mom used to say, “Just do your best, no one can ask anything MORE than that!” She was right! So we all just do OUR best! 🙂 ❤

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