BPD Episode

My mental health is really suffering. I am angry, anxious, sad and lonely. Then as if by magic I feel nothing at all.

While walking Milo today, I sobbed and sobbed. I can’t carry on like this. I am exhausted with all the distress and stress in my head.

I have been referred to the Mental Health Team again, so now the waiting begins. I do everything I can to manage my symptoms, but I’m getting to the point of thinking it’s just all pointless. I see a life in front of me, that is sober and blessed, but mentally unstable and unwell. I feel that No amount of Mindfulness will fix me.

I am not depressed. I am in turmoil. I don’t want to die, I just want the pain to Stop.

I am continuing to use all the coping skills and knowledge I have, but it’s harder today. I am struggling to keep my head above water.


9 thoughts on “BPD Episode

Add yours

  1. Not sure if my comment came through, so can connect to this, try and hang in there and march through the brambles of this mind chaos, I have episodes which are so frantically up and down I can’t keep up, you’re not alone hon, be strong and sending love xx

  2. BPD is a hard road, I am right there with you, its a never ending battle it seems like. There are good days and bad days you just have to make it through. Look at the people you love, Daughter and Dog I’m assuming and see why you have to fight this, stay strong!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: