Here we are again. My eldest daughter is coming to ten years old next week. I feel gutted and ever so sad.

Obviously the people close to me, know that this is a massive trigger and upsetting time for me.

My daughter, Alice, lives with her father in Wales, as far as I know… I haven’t had contact for many years.

Every year it breaks my heart, every year the pain is deeper in my bones.

I feel so much guilt and anxiety over Alice, but, also now for Megan… She shouldn’t have to suffer for my past mistakes.

My life as a mother will never be the same, and it’s always hard for me, but I’m working hard to be a good and better parent.

One day, I wish that my two daughters, will know eachother, and grow to care for eachother. I pray that one day Alice will look for us, and want to know the truth.

I am always thinking of you, Alice Paul.. I love you, my first born girl.

4 thoughts on “Alice

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  1. First thought that popped into my head, can you start a journal and write in it for Alice? That way when you track her down you can share or give it to her so she can see that she has always been in your heart and mind.

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