I’m depressed. I’m feeling all alone in a deep, dark place. My own mind is a dangerous place right now.
I am hurting physically with chronic pain in my back and my hips – I just want to shout and scream… Obviously I do Not, I continue to take my crappy meds and plod along with my life.
I’m still waiting for an MRI scan on my back and I feel so frustrated.
My depression and anxiety is hitting me hard this week, and I feel like a useless failure, I am so overwhelmed with anxiety.
My daughter and my husband deserve better than me, better than I can give.
Sometimes the suicidal thoughts come easily, and it’s getting harder to push those away. I look at Megan and I see her future… Will it be a fucked up mess like mine? Or, perhaps if I just let her go, will she lead a better Life?
When I look at Meg, I see Alice, and it continues to haunt me… I have nightmares that someone will take Megan away. I think, perhaps I need more counselling.
I long to be physically and mentally strong… I’m craving a good life.
I know that I am loved and cared for, I have a lovely group of friends and family, and I have to keep telling myself that I am worth it. I am worthy of their love.
Next week, if I am able, I will start an exercise class. I am hopeful. I want to be well.