Dying. Needlessly…

A man I used to know is seriously ill and in pain, all because of alcohol and drugs. He is Dying, and it's such a heart breaking situation. If only he'd been honest with himself and the people around him that love him, perhaps he could have sought help and support to get clean and... Continue Reading →

Alice

Here we are again. My eldest daughter is coming to ten years old next week. I feel gutted and ever so sad. Obviously the people close to me, know that this is a massive trigger and upsetting time for me. My daughter, Alice, lives with her father in Wales, as far as I know... I... Continue Reading →

Being Open

My mental health is not good right now. I'm really struggling to get a grip. It's been a few weeks since my meditation was changed Again and now my diagnosis is no longer Borderline Personality Disorder. I am diagnosed with clinical depression. I don't know what to do with this information, as everything on the... Continue Reading →

Memories of Madness

When I was drunk, I needed you, I hated you, I craved you, and I pushed you away... I begged you to stay with me, and screamed for you to leave. I asked you to love me, to never betray me, although I knew that you already did, A thousand times. I locked you in... Continue Reading →

Random Holiday Thoughts

Thursday It's very warm! A bit too warm for me! Today I will try to spend the entire day with my family, without my phone. I will attempt to have fun and be pleasant. I'm trying to get used to doing nothing and relaxing. I have my audiobook which I am desperate to get back... Continue Reading →

Low

I am still feeling pretty low, and I'm struggling with nightmares again. In my head, I am replaying trauma, and I have intrusive thoughts of my own death... Although I am NOT suicidal. On the surface, I'm just ' FINE ' - but deep down I feel troubled and paranoid almost daily. I'm struggling to... Continue Reading →

Depressed

I feel depressed. I can't get motivated. I am overwhelmed and overthinking. I can't even get it together to write. It all seems so pointless. I am in turmoil. I feel like I need validation for my emotions and feelings, and I don't feel worthy enough right now. I read something recently about antidepressants... It... Continue Reading →

Stigma

I feel like I'm always battling stigma and shame. The stigma attached to mental health issues and addiction, but on top of that I am a mother who has a child that doesn't live with me. For me, there is no greater shame. I was once deemed unfit to parent my daughter. The stigma surrounding... Continue Reading →

365 Sober Days

Woohoo! I made it to a Year Sober. Not one single alcoholic drink has entered my bloodstream for a whole Year. I am immensely proud of my achievement and determination to get here. It's not been an easy thing, But, it does get easier. I still suffer with anxiety and my BPD raises it's tormented... Continue Reading →

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