Memories of Madness

When I was drunk, I needed you, I hated you, I craved you, and I pushed you away... I begged you to stay with me, and screamed for you to leave. I asked you to love me, to never betray me, although I knew that you already did, A thousand times. I locked you in... Continue Reading →

Confidence

I feel like a different person this week. I am confident, and feel good about myself. I'm making an effort to put some makeup on and actually do my hair, and it makes such a big difference. What a total turn around from a couple of weeks ago... I've been on the Quetiapine for almost... Continue Reading →

Can’t Fall Apart

I'm clinging onto my sanity by a thread. I am exhausted constantly now. I am doing my best, every day, to maintain a level of normality, mostly just for the girl's sake... I feel like I'm falling down the rabbit hole. But I cannot Fall Apart. I have been prescribed a new medication to help... Continue Reading →

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness that centers on the inability to manage emotions effectively. The disorder occurs in the context of relationships: sometimes all relationships are affected, sometimes only one. It usually begins during adolescence or early adulthood. While some persons with BPD are high functioning in certain settings, their private... Continue Reading →

Family.

I received a beautiful and fun card today. From my cousin Heather in Wales. My heart is full of gratitude and love right now. I feel so fortunate for my family in Wales, but I have never really been very close with this side of my family, for many reasons. It is a deep regret... Continue Reading →

Still Fighting

I am so low, and feel so worthless and a deep sadness right now. My husband has been amazing lately, and is just letting me Be... I don't have the energy for much right now, although I am maintaining a certain level of normality. I am still up, and washed and in the world, Although... Continue Reading →

And yet…

By going out of your mind, You come to your senses. ~ Alan Watts. I am trying to stay grounded today, as my anxiety spirals out of control. I desperately want to numb out the bad feelings, but I will not. This will pass. I do not wish to numb out the best feelings. I... Continue Reading →

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